Free monthly circle: The Space In Between - Men and Women in Circle

What happens when we turn to face each other?

Many of us carry pain about the other gender - from relationships, from family, and from a culture that often sets men and women against each other. In women's circles and men's groups we heal, but mostly apart. The Space In Between is a monthly circle where we sit together around the fire, listen deeply and speak honestly about what lives between men and women.

Why this circle

Women and men can both carry real hurt and anger in their relationships with each other. Women's spaces often hold these experiences openly, while men may have fewer places to put their own wounds down. When we only meet the other side through our pain, it's easy to forget that the other is also trying to heal.

This circle is a place to turn towards each other instead. To hear what it has been like to be a man, a woman, or someone who has lived outside those boxes. To share what we were taught, how we've been hurt and what we've never been able to say - and to be listened to without debate, blame or fixing.

Some sessions will also explore qualities we all carry - strength and softness, giving and receiving, saying yes and no - and how differently we were each taught to hold them.

What we do

• Sharing in circle - speaking from your own experience and being heard, without advice or fixing
• Witnessing - listening to people of another gender with curiosity rather than assumption
• Simple practices - simple relational exercises, always optional and always by consent

We sit outdoors in a covered space around the fire, so dress warmly. Tea and snacks are available, so come a few minutes early if you'd like to settle in with a warm drink.

Who it's for

Anyone who feels hurt, confused or tired of the divide between men and women, and wants to meet the other side as a human being. The circle is open to people of all genders. We especially welcome men, who are often missing from spaces like this. No experience of circles needed - just come as you are.

Your facilitators

Kika co-founded Gaia Wellbeing Collective, bringing her PhD in ecology and a deep love of nature to community wellbeing. A trauma-informed circle facilitator with Authentic Relating Training (Levels 1 & 2) and a dancer at heart, she blends movement, mindfulness and research to hold safe, inclusive spaces where people feel seen and heard.

Lee is a facilitator, space-holder and Safeguarding Lead who creates spaces to explore emotional truth with honesty and care. Rooted in presence, consent and relational awareness, he supports men to soften patterns of control and reconnect with their bodies. Drawing on conscious dance, men’s work and trauma-informed practice, he brings a grounded, compassionate approach that welcomes both vulnerability and growth.

A note on gender

Through our own experiences, and our work with both men and women, we’ve each become drawn to exploring this divide and creating space for greater understanding. That’s why this circle focuses on the relationship between men and women: it’s the divide we know from the inside.

We know gender isn't a simple binary, and that trans and non-binary people carry their own experiences of this divide and others. We want to be honest that we can't hold space for those experiences in the way they deserve - they aren't our lived experience, and we'd rather say so than pretend. If you're trans, non-binary or anywhere else on the gender spectrum and still feel called to this circle, you're welcome, knowing that it centres the relationship between men and women.

We also know that there are other divides that deserve their own space - between trans and cis people, or between those who live within the binary and those who live beyond it. Those circles would be best led by people who live them, and we'd love to help make that happen, including by finding funding. If you'd like to see or shape something like that, please e.mail Kika on kikadegani@gmail.com.

How it works

• One circle a month, 10 in total. Each session stands on its own, so drop in once or come every month
• 8 places per circle: 4 for men / male-bodied people, and 4 for women / female-bodied people. Choose whichever fits you best
• Places are limited. If you book and can't make it, please cancel so someone else can come

Arriving

We begin promptly at 10.30am. To protect the group, we can't admit anyone after 10.45am.

First time?

It's normal to feel unsure about coming to something like this for the first time. If you have questions, you're welcome to get in touch beforehand at kikadegani@gmail.com. You don't have to know what you're doing, just turn up.

What this isn't

This isn't therapy, a dating space, or a debate about who has it worse. Nobody is ever required to touch, share, or take part in anything they don't want to. Passing is always welcome.

The circle is open. Come as you are 🔥

Kika & Lee

Getting there

Plot 9 is a few minutes' walk from Maze Hill station (Southeastern and Thameslink). The walk from the platform is a little fiddly, so here's a video of the route.

By bus, the 129, 177, 188, 286, 386 and 422 stop at Trafalgar Road / Maze Hill (Stop H), and the 386 also stops at Maze Hill Station (Stops M and N). From the station, walk up Vanbrugh Hill, turn right onto Restell Close, and Plot 9 is about halfway down on the right.

Free parking is usually available on Dinsdale Road or Humber Road.

Google Maps pin

Places are free thanks to National Lottery players and The National Lottery Community Fund.